Music at your wedding: the checklist

• Book your DJ

  For a wedding, book 6 to 12 months ahead. Popular dates between April and October are often taken a year in advance.

  Tip from experienceAsk for recordings of real parties, not just a studio mix. That is how you hear how someone builds an evening and responds to a room.

• Ask the venue about sound limits and closing time

  Many venues have a sound limiter or a fixed closing time. That determines how early the party must start and how you plan the evening.

  Tip from experienceAsk for the actual figure (for example a maximum of 95 dB) and whether the venue imposes its own sound system. Pass this on to your DJ before you fix the timing.

• A DJ only, or live music too?

  A saxophonist, singer or percussionist alongside the DJ adds to the experience, but it needs to be matched technically and musically.

  Tip from experienceHave the live act and the DJ talk beforehand. Live works best in short blocks at the right moment of the evening, not as background all night.

• Music during the ceremony

  Think of three moments: the entrance, the signing or ritual, and the exit. Also agree who provides the sound and who starts the music.

  Tip from experienceGetting married outdoors? Provide a microphone for whoever speaks. Without amplification the back rows hear nothing, however beautiful the words.

• Atmosphere during reception and dinner

  Background music carries the mood without getting in the way of conversation. Pick a direction, such as jazzy, acoustic, soul or lounge.

  Tip from experienceGive a direction rather than a full playlist. The volume is right when guests can talk without raising their voice.

• Seating plan and speakers

  Whoever sits right next to a speaker has a different evening from everyone else. Seat older guests and children further away and the party people close to the dance floor.

  Tip from experienceAsk your DJ where the speakers will go before you finish the seating plan. A dance floor in the middle or near the bar fills up faster than one in a separate corner.

• Set-up: beforehand or during the party?

  The equipment can be ready before guests arrive, or be set up while the party is already under way. That choice has consequences.

  Set up beforehand

  Pros

  • Everything is ready and tested
  • No carrying equipment between guests
  • Music and microphone also available during reception and dinner

  Cons

  • The DJ is on site longer, which can affect the price
  • The venue must be accessible early

  Set up during the party

  Pros

  • The DJ is on site for a shorter time

  Cons

  • Visible and audible to your guests
  • Little time to test the sound
  • If dinner runs late, the set-up moves with it

  Tip from experienceNo other option than during the party? Pick a moment when guests are elsewhere, for example during an outdoor reception.

Unsure how to structure the evening? I am happy to think along about timing and flow. Ask your question

• Entrance song

  The song you walk into the room to sets the tone for the evening. Calm and elegant, or party straight away?

  Tip from experiencePick a song whose first twenty seconds work immediately, and agree who gives the signal that you are ready.

• Song for the dessert

  The dessert or the cake is often the last moment at the table and the run-up to the party.

  Tip from experienceA familiar song everyone claps along to works better here than a personal favourite nobody knows.

• First dance

  Choose the song and the exact version, and decide whether you do a choreography or simply dance.

  Tip from experienceTwo to three minutes is plenty. With a longer song the DJ can shorten it, or invite the guests onto the dance floor after the first minutes.

• Dance with the parents (if you want one)

  Not an obligation. If you do it, decide whether it follows the first dance or becomes a separate moment.

  Tip from experienceAsk the parents beforehand. Not everyone likes being alone on a dance floor with a hundred people watching.

• Last song

  The last song is the one people remember. A sing-along with everyone in a circle, or a quiet closer?

  Tip from experienceAgree the closing time with the venue and the DJ, so the last song really is the last one and is not cut off halfway.

• Must-plays and do-not-plays

  Make a short list of songs that must be played, and a list of songs or genres you do not want to hear.

  Tip from experienceKeep it to ten to fifteen must-plays and leave the rest to the DJ. Imposing a full playlist for the whole evening rarely works: a dance floor responds differently from a speaker at home.

• Song requests from guests: yes or no?

  With a song request app, guests send songs from their phone, in advance or during the party. That has pros and cons.

  Song request app

  Pros

  • Guests feel involved, including those who would not walk up to the DJ
  • You see in advance what music your guests like
  • No notes or shouting at the DJ booth

  Cons

  • Not every request fits every moment, so not everything gets played
  • If the DJ has to play everything, it breaks the build-up of the evening
  • Some guests spend more time on their phone

  Tip from experienceAgree that the DJ decides what is played and when. Requests are inspiration, not an order.

• Speeches, surprises and microphones

  Ask who wants to give a speech and for how long. Surprises from friends or family often need a microphone, a video or their own song.

  Tip from experienceAppoint one point of contact, such as a witness or master of ceremonies, who collects all surprises and passes them on to the DJ. That way it stays a surprise for you.

For song requests I use my own tool, Request My Track. You and your guests can submit songs in advance and during the party. Ask your question

• Share the running order with times

  Give the DJ, the venue and the photographer the same running order, so everyone follows the same times.

  Tip from experienceTake the times from the kitchen. Dinner determines when the party can start, not the other way round.

• Send the right versions

  For every special moment, send a link to the exact version of the song, and deliver videos or your own recordings in advance.

  Tip from experienceMany songs exist in several versions: radio edit, album version, live or a remix. A link rules out any misunderstanding.

• One contact person on the day itself

  Choose someone the DJ can turn to with questions or changes. Not yourselves: you have other things to do that day.